The Lord Jesus through the Gospel of Matthew 18: 15-20 tells us about how we advise someone. What does Jesus say? If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone (Mat 18:15 ESV). Remember, there are always sinful people around us. We can just ignore them and take no action for their mistakes. We can scold them because we are sometimes upset, we hate them or we are disappointed by their actions. We can admonish them because of our willingness to correct them from their mistakes.
When someone does not rebuke, it doesn’t always mean that they perform love. A person who admonishes others doesn't always do that because of love. Sometimes, people rebuke because they hate that one. Sometimes someone rebukes his friend because he feels hurt. Sometimes, people are silent, because they are ignorant of everything that happens. And often in the household, the same thing happens like parents scold their children, not because they want to educate, but because they don’t like seeing their behaviors and the way they act. If you admonish or rebuke others with hatred, you will never lead them to repentance from their sins.
Confessing sins is not something that is easy to do. Therefore, we need people to reminds us. When a person is rebuked privately, there is an opportunity for him to speak from his heart. There is an opportunity for the admonitor to listen and judge better. The conversation with him is not meant to judge but it means to lead our brothers to a brotherly unity based on love. Now ask yourself: what is your reaction when someone sins against you? Do you ignore them? Do you take some time to decide how you want to respond? How have you advised others during this time? Have you done it the way like Jesus does?
P. Fransiskus Mayrezky Diaz, SVD.