In the summer of 2014, I met a friend in
California, USA. This friend told me his story that moves me every time I read
this gospel. He and his father had serious differences of opinion and never really
tried to resolve them. As a result, they avoided seeing each other. He was just
trying to avoid family reunions because he had to meet his father there. And it
got worse prolonging that they stopped talking to each other. Both stayed in
these broken relationships until his father went to a nursing home he never
visited. But then his father stopped his contacts in the nursing home as a
direct point of contact. And one day one of the nurses at that nursing home
called him and told him his father was sick and they do not know if he will
make it next week. When he got home from work, he decided to tell his father
that despite their differences, he loves him. Just making that decision seemed
to lift a heavy burden from his chest, he said. The next day he flew to New
York to see his father. Fortunately, his father could still speak. And when he
walked into the nursing home, he paused for a while and prayed that his father
would not get angry again, that they would never fight again. He just wanted to
tell him that despite their differences, he loved him. Then he took a step in
the door and said, “Father, I just came over to tell you I love you so much.”
And his father's face began to shine as if a transformation were coming over
him. His face softened, the wrinkles seemed to go away, and he started to cry.
He held out his hand and smiled. One day after this visit, his father died.
What if he waited many more days to express his love for his father? In
answering this question, Jesus gives us advice from the gospel we just heard.
Do not wait to do the things you know need to be done. Take the time to do what
you need to do and do it now! And the best time to take this step is today!
After all, I was wondering why my friend waited so long before making that
decision. Why do we usually keep our broken relationships long before we decide
to restore them? I think we often create a wall between us by choosing to keep
the injuries to ourselves. And it could either be that we are ashamed or just
not able to speak to anyone about it. We believe that our case is unique and
therefore no one can understand our feelings. So, we hold up a facade and
pretend everything is normal. In the meantime, we ponder the injury. Over time,
it increases in size, so even small things can become disproportionate. Then we
begin to feel sorry for ourselves and cut off the perpetrator from our
networks. After a while we can no longer keep it to ourselves, we start telling
others about it - friends, neighbors, and relatives. And the last person to hear
about the pain is often the person who is causing it. Suddenly he finds out
that everyone was talking about him behind his back. This discovery is very
hurtful and can make reaching reconciliation even more difficult.
And so, the gospel of today describes a process of reconciliation between divided members of a community or household. Jesus calls his listeners to seek honesty and righteousness in all relationships, to put aside selfishness, anger, and wounded pride, and to take the first step in healing the cracks that destroy the feeling of love that family and friends, church and community unite – the love of Christ is what binds us together. And so, Jesus invites us to create and maintain households of love and forgiveness and communities of reconciliation and peace. Christ promises that when we gather in his name, he will always be with us. God can only be among us if we are reconciled and love one another. The best time to take the step of reconciliation is today, so that Jesus may be among us.
By Fr. Ouwakpare Victorin Oussoi, SVD.
