I do

For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me - Romans 7:19-20

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The Inner Conflict

14 For we know that the law is spiritual; but I am of the flesh, sold into slavery under sin. 15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. 17 But in fact it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me.21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do what is good, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, 23 but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!So then, with my mind I am a slave to the law of God, but with my flesh I am a slave to the law of sin.

Reflecting on my own roller-coaster journey with the LORD, I empathize with what St. Paul wrote in Rom 7:19-20: For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. 

Here was the wretched confession of a man who called himself a Pharisee of Pharisees, when he was testifying in front of the Sanhedrin (in Acts 23:6). A Pharisee was someone who studied God's Laws and practiced them judiciously. Yet, when the Holy Spirit confronted his sinful nature during his third missionary journey, when he was in Corinth as he authored the Book of Romans, he realized the wretchedness of his human condition. No amount of personal discipline or adherence to strict Pharisee laws could free him from that sinful nature.

I identify with what St. Paul wrote because the 4th Commandment was to honor my parents. In this I've failed miserably each time I blew my top at my elderly mom over something she said or did. I would feel miserable towards myself afterwards. Following which I would apologize to her, in which she neither scolded nor retaliated with a harsh reply, but gently reminded me not to do it again, which only made me feel worse than before. It's the same with another habitual sin that hounded me from my youth. I've failed countless times using my own willpower to overcome it and could only sustain it for a period of time, after which I would over-indulge in it again and felt miserable once more. Both behaviors had driven me into the deep dark pit of clinical depression, until one day, the infinitely loving light of Christ shone into my sin-darkened heart which no one except God and my counsellors knew. 

Finally, I felt the real power as a child of God that comes from Him alone. I can never be an overcomer unless I've learned to rest and surrender all of my sinful inclinations at the foot of Jesus' Cross and allow His Love to permeate my sin-stained heart. That was why St. Paul could write these beautiful Spirit-infused lines in Galatians 2:20, after his encounter with the Risen LORD on the road to Damascus:  “and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Truly, it was the Amazing Grace of Christ living in me, a sinful man, that had set my heart free. 

I will close my short reflection with this beautiful freedom song penned by Chris Tomlin & Louis Giglio

Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)

Verse 1

Amazing grace

How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost, but now I'm found

Was blind, but now I see

Verse 2

Twas grace that taught my heart to fear

And grace my fears relieved

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed

Chorus

My chains are gone

I've been set free

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

And like a flood His mercy reigns

Unending love, amazing grace  

Youtube: https://youtu.be/Y-4NFvI5U9w?si=NAmGXmfeR-HX1I29

Refrain © 2006 worshiptogether.com Songs/sixteps Music (ASCAP), Vamos Publishing (ASCAP), admin at EMICMG Publishing.dom

Composed by: John Newton, Chris Tomlin & Louie Giglio

CCLI & Easy Song ID. #4768151, #78065

Reflection on Romans 7:14-25 by Chris Tan

Liberati a peccato | Freed from sin

"But now that you have been freed from sin and enslaved to God, the advantage you get is sanctification. The end is eternal life." – Romans 6:22

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Dear friends in Christ Jesus. It is Jesus who set us free from the sins by his passion and death on the cross. Let us thank Jesus for this free gift of eternal life. Through our baptism we are under the grace of God which will help us to sanctify ourselves and enter into eternal life. Everything is a free gift from God because he loves us from the very beginning. As children of God we have total freedom either to love him and obey him at the same time not to obey him.  What do we choose sin or righteousness?

The obedience which comes from the heart out of love in total freedom will lead us to eternal life. St. Paul is reminding us that "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Therefore we can't present ourselves no longer to wickedness but need to present ourselves as instruments of righteousness.

Dear friends, let us not worry about the past life so much. We are set free from sin and sin has no dominion over us. We are under the grace of God which is stronger than our sins and guilt feelings. Let us hold on to Christ and his teachings. Let us learn to obey him from the heart out of love in total freedom like children. Let us live in hope and not in despair.

Bible reflection on Romans 6: 12-23 by Fr. George Joseph SVD

(Listen to podcast here)

Dead to sin but alive in Christ

"count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus" - Romans 6:11

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Dead to Sin, alive in Christ

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2 By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3 Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. 6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7 because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.

8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9 For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10 The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. 11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Reflecting on my own Christian journey, as a former staunch Buddhist who hated the guts of Bible-toting Christians who knocked on my door to condemn me and my whole household to Hell, when I opened the door to see who was knocking vigorously on my door. I hated the condemning look in their unloving eyes when they saw the statues of idols in my living hall. And invariably shouted back at them to crawl back into Hell where they came from. If they still refused to budge from my doorway, I would tell my family to bring a broom to sweep these agents of Hell away from my doorsteps.

It was an entirely unique experience when the Holy Spirit impressed upon a long-lost acquaintance to call me when she saw me exercising in the courtyard of my public housing estate. I was in tears when we met in the garden where I was walking and explained that I was just discharged from the hospital after an acute right-brain stroke and was retraining my left leg to walk again. I also shared that my marriage was breaking apart and on the verge of a divorce. Now she started tearing up because she knew both me and my ex-wife, as we were in the same university together. Through her tears, she explained that she found peace in a guy called Jesus, after she invited Him into her life. She asked if I wanted to receive that gift too. I nodded my head as there were so many storms in my life then, that peace was the very thing I was seeking and nodded my head to signal yes, I desired that peace. I said the sinners' prayer by repeating after her. 

My marriage eventually broke apart and I was angry with God for not saving my broken marriage and threatened to leave Him too. But God the Father was ever patient and allowed me to leave His side, while He stood like the Prodigal Father, looking into the distance for the silhouette of His prodigal son, i.e. me.

Fast forward, three years after my conversion experience, I joined my uncle and his family to worship in a loving Christian community. I was moved by the Holy Spirit to sign-up for Baptism. As our church was undergoing renovations, we rented an office space and even rented a plastic tub for baptism services. I recall the peals of laughter when a youth who was about to be dunked into the plastic tub, remarked: " the tub looks just like a tomb, which means I'm going to die with Jesus".

I truly believe that it was the same Holy Spirit Who inspired St Paul to pen these words in Romans 6:4 and 11: 4 We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.  11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 

I will close my short sharing, with this declaration by St. Paul in Romans 6 verse 6: For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.

The following beautiful hymn has so often brought a tear of gratitude to my eyes, whenever I ponder on God's Love through His Son, that I'm truly home with the Father in Heaven as His beloved child.

 

Father I Have Sinned

Verse 1 

Father I have sinned, 

help me find my way. 

Remember not my sins, 

Just let me hear you say: 

 

Chorus 

I forgive you, I love you 

You are mine, take my hand. 

Go in peace, sin no more, 

Beloved one. 

 

Verse 2 

Father I have turned, 

my back and walked away 

Depended on my strength 

and lived life my own way 

(Repeat Chorus)

 

Verse 3 

Father I have closed, 

My heart to those in need. 

Thought only of myself, 

A victim of my greed. 

(Repeat Chorus)

 

Verse 4 

Father I have loved, 

If love's the word to use. 

I've played so many games,

They've left me so confused 

(Repeat Chorus) 

 

Ending 

Father I've returned, 

I'm home with you to stay. 

Standing at your door, 

knowing that you'll say

(Repeat Chorus)

 

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Reflection on Romans 6:1-11 by Chris Tan