"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them – yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me." - 1 Cor 15:10.
Reflecting on what the blessed St. Paul had written in verse 10. He started his journey to Damascus, armed with letters from the high priest, and bent on a mission to arrest all followers of the Christ - a new movement viewed as a threat against Jewish ways and blasphemous towards the laws of God as imparted by Moses in the Torah - until he was struck blind and was asked by Jesus the Risen Christ, "Saul Saul, why are you persecuting me?".
It was a pivotal moment that enabled this Pharisee of Pharisee to recognise the spiritual blindness of himself and his fellow Pharisees who were given the Holy task of guarding the Jewish faith and Mosaic traditions. It was in a way understandable in light of how the Jewish nation had suffered humiliation of being conquered and enslaved by pagan nations and witnessing a blasphemous desecration of the Jewish Temple, to the point that God's presence had left His chosen people. There was a visibly silent Voice for 600 years until the mysterious appearance of an unschooled rabbi who was creating miracles of feeding thousands and healing thousands more of demonic possessions and sicknesses. Surely as a Zealot of God, he had a religious duty to investigate the eye-witness accounts and had successfully witnessed the first martyr of the newly rising Church of Christ.
It was through the Holy and Divine Encounter with the Son of God en route to Damascus, that Saul changed his name to Paul, and was pivoted towards a new Mission of God, to bring the Good News of Christ's incarnation, death, and glorious resurrection unto the Gentile nations. Something of which I am thankful as a Gentile believer, while I can't boast of the same wisdom of Paul in expounding theology nor his tenacity to remain joyful even under severe trials of imprisonment and shipwrecks among other earthly travails. He was able to write beautiful pastoral letters like his beautiful Epistle to the church in Philippi (while being imprisoned):
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
(Phi 4:4-9, 13)
But I can truly join St. Paul in declaring "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them – yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me" on my personal journey. Because, by my own power, I wouldn't have survived the devastating loss of my marriage and job. Only 2 years after an acute right-brain stroke had brought me to the end of my limited human ropes, and discovered Christ Jesus, my One and Only Living Hope.
It was His Grace, I have been able to mend a fractured relationship with my aged mom, and through His Grace, I was able to break free from the chains of a hopeless addictive behavior. It was His Amazing Grace, that I was able to finally forgive my (late) father for all the emotional neglects or any perceived hurts in the growing years, and through His Grace, I was able to slowly temper my explosive anger. It was most of all His Grace that enabled me to live with clinical depression and general anxiety disorder without succumbing to hopelessness or even taking my own life, because I know deep in my heart that I belong to Him, today, tomorrow, and the rest of my life.
I will close with the beautiful words from Chris Tomlin's Spirit-inspired worship because like Paul, I was once walking around blinkered by my own limited earthly achievements, until the light of the Christ shone from Heaven and tore through the darkness dwelling in my heart...
Amen.
Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) – Chris Tomin
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
My chains are gone
I've been set free (been set free)
My God, my Savior has ransomed me (ransomed me)
And like a flood (like a flood) His mercy rains (mercy rains)
Unending love, oh, Amazing grace
The Earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace (grace)
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind (was blind), but now (but now) I see
Reflection on 1 Corinthians 15:1-11 by Chris Tan
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